I’m not good enough.
I have nothing valuable to offer.
I don’t know enough to be considered a/an ‘XYZ’.
I’m not talented/skilled enough.
I have not been in this position/industry long enough to contribute at this level.
I don’t know enough people to name-drop so I can be seen/heard.
What I have to offer is not wanted or needed.
The list goes on…
If you’ve ever found yourself saying any or some of the things listed above (or their variables) at one time or another, you need to stop calling yourself an imposter. Stop telling yourself you are suffering from imposter syndrome. You are not an imposter and saying it to yourself is not helpful for a healthy mindset and corresponding behaviour.
I know the term imposter syndrome has become somewhat popular. A lot of people use the term both loosely and as a diagnosis; experts and thought leaders too.
But the fact that the majority have joined a certain bandwagon does not mean that you should join it too. Calling yourself an imposter is quite weighty and I firmly believe that a sizeable number of the people selling this imposter-syndrome-lie to themselves should not be doing so.
The truth is if you are not thinking like an imposter, you’re not claiming to be who you are not and you’re not conducting yourself like an amoral person, then you are not an imposter and you do not have imposter syndrome. I’ll even go as far as saying this: if you have not thought like a fraud, a pretender, a swindler, a cheat, or an identity thief, you have no reason to diagnose yourself with the imposter syndrome.
If you have however displayed occasional signs of deception or trickery, or you give yourself a leg up through manipulation and pretense, then this article is not for you. But, if you know that your thoughts and occasional action are not driven by pretense or deceit, then read on.
If you’re wondering why I’m going on and on about this, it’s because I’ve seen enough people form unhealthy thoughts about themselves because they’ve allowed the imposter syndrome bandwagon to soil their mindset.
I’ve heard leaders talk about themselves as if they have a bad condition when what they are feeling is really part of the self-awareness and growth journey. It’s almost like we have become consumed by naming conditions and claiming them for ourselves as if they are medals or trophies of achievement. Not everything is a condition you know. Sometimes feelings are just what they are; feelings. One thing you should know about feelings is that they point us to things. Things that we should be aware of, be alert to and/or pay attention to; all for the purpose of growth and development. Feelings do not always have to lead to conditions.
Many of us leaders have had times when we have doubted ourselves. Hesitated to move forward because we were unsure of what we had to offer. Put ourselves down because we were afraid of what others would think of us or say to us. But that does not make us imposters. A lot of us actually want to make a difference and we want to do it honestly but we sometimes find ourselves held back by something. Something that we can’t quite place our hand on or even clearly define. The fact that we question our abilities and suitability for certain tasks/roles/projects/positions/ventures does not mean that we should liken ourselves to imposters.
Let me make it clear that these genuine feelings of perceived limited abilities and suitability are not feelings associated with imposters, they are feelings of inadequacy. We simply feel inadequate. Drawing the line between imposter and inadequacy is so important because it changes the conversation for many leaders in a way that refocuses the mindset and makes development efforts more productive. I am not by this saying that everyone who believes they have imposter syndrome is wrong, far be it from me. What I am saying is that if you feel any of the things I listed at the beginning of this article (i.e., not good enough, not valuable enough, not talented enough, etc) then what you have is a feeling of inadequacy.
You. Are. Not. An. Imposter.
You are experiencing feelings of inadequacy and it is not unusual for humans to experience this once in a while. You do not have a condition. Your feeling of inadequacy is an indication that there is a need to meet. I call this feeling of inadequacy ‘The Inadequacy Phenomenon’. By the way, it is not a condition, it’s simply an occurrence. Something that happens and can be experienced.
It is very important that you draw the line when it comes to what you call yourself or how you think about yourself. Don’t just say things because other people are saying it. Remember that misdiagnosis results in wasted time, effort, and resources; amongst other things.
I have said all that to say this; do not liken yourself to an imposter when you are experiencing feelings of inadequacy. Feeling inadequate is not unusual and with the right help and support, you can overcome those feelings and make the kind of progress that you are capable of making.
If you need help to overcome your feelings of inadequacy, I’d like to help. I’ve had my fair share of the inadequacy phenomenon and I know only too well what it feels like. I also know the effect it can have in the short term and long term.
Send me a mail at info@belindaujani.co.uk or fill out a contact form here and let’s talk.
I feel like there’s still more to talk about on this subject so I just might continue next week.
I’ll probably talk more about feelings of inadequacy and what that looks like for different people.
Until then, keep leading right and living light
Belinda
